i(Phone) Spy: Month 3 - Brynn

Well, here we are!  We've hit the fabled 3 month turning point you read about in all the parenting books.  I have to say that it has been a pretty magical month, but more on that in my regular monthly update post.  For now, just enjoy some "ohhh"ing and "awww"ing courtesy of my iPhone.  Love your face, Brynnie Boo Boo!

Brynn and I liked to start our days with some Thriller dance moves.  Isn't that what most people do on maternity leave?

Were you thinking we might make it a month without a baby-girl-sleeping-on-Daddy pic?  Nope.  Definitely not doing that.

Who says Ryan isn't creative?

That smile.  Melts my heart.  Just melts it right away.

Seriously.  I'm a pile of mush.

Damsel in distress.  No one knows how she suffers.  In her mama's lap.  In a swaddle sack.  It's rough out here, y'all.

Milk belly.  The original beer belly.

Oh, she fancy now.

Morning smiles are what I miss the most being back at work.  They're always the easiest to get.

Between the cheeks and the sheer euphoria she seems to have in the morning, I truly question if this child is half me.

Seriously Mama?  You're going to let sister watch "animoes" for the 1,000th time today?  I'm even over the "wal-rees".

This look had to be in response to Kelsey's performance on the Bachelor.

Act cool, act cool.  Maybe she'll go away.

First daycare trial run.  At least one of us looked cute.

Sleeping babies.  Not much cuter.

Hey you!

This is probably what Blossom looked like as a baby.

Ohhhh, managed to throw another sleeping-on-Daddy pic.  (P.S. This is the only way she will let her Daddy hold her.  Hilarious to me.  Not to him.)

She learned to get her hand in her mouth herself.  I don't think she's taken it out since.

This was the end of her first roll from tummy to back.  I would say she got a 2 for that landing.

Apparently after we mastered Thriller we moved onto another iconic Michael move- the crotch grab. (I am addicted to that grin.)

My precious baby on her first official day of school.  Good thing there's only one boy in her class, otherwise her teacher would have spent all day beating them off with sticks.

Hallmark Holiday 2k15

Foreword:  Thank you all so very mucho for all the love and support from my last post.  I have struggled a lot with the idea of going back to work and what that means about my Mama-ing skills.  It was so comforting to know that I'm not alone in feeling that.  I think we should all form a support group.  One that holds regular meetings at brunch-ing locations.  Thoughts?  And now back to my regularly scheduled life-as-we-know-it documentation.

So just a couple of days before I went back to work the big VD hit.  Perhaps I've worded that poorly.  Valentine's Day.  That happened.  In this house the month of February has always been a significant one.  Ryan and I spoke for the first time at a party in February 2005.  We started dating in February 2007.  We got engaged in February 2010.  I think you get the idea.  Ironically for as much as I love the month and what it means to us, we kind of don't really do much celebrating of it's claim to fame.  However I have to say that having two little Valentines does inspire me a bit more to do some cheesy things.  You win after all, Hallmark!

This year the Daddy asked me what I wanted to do, and to absolutely no one on the planet's shock I said I wanted to go to Starbucks.  So that is precisely what we did.  We loaded up our jammied children first thing and we planted our behinds at the Starbucks down the street.  I could not have been happier.  I'm a simple woman, guys.

Cake pops inspire the same look of awe in yours truly.

Maybe if I wear these giant oversized lips they'll mistake me for a toddler and let me have some cookie.  Lisa Rinna, eat your heart out.

I was feeling real festive and got a raspberry iced coffee.  I was also feeling real tired because I went venti.  Kapow!

My world.

I was supposed to share this.  Turns out sharing isn't in mine or Emery's genetics.

After our morning ode to love and silly holidays, we kept with our theme as of late and hit the road for a birthday party.  This special day was devoted to our friends, Erin & JT's, eldest son, Will.  His shindig was at Chuck E Cheese and the kids couldn't have loved it more.  Pizza, a giant mouse and a sess pool of germs?  Sign them up all day er'y day.  

The McClains were in attendance but down one man- Jonathan.  We assured Melanie that the 3 of us could totally handle 4 children, 3 of whom are under 2.  We may have set a world record for laps done around a Chuck E Cheese.  I feel confident all of us slept better that night than we have in a long time.  Like maybe ever.  

Suffice it to say that everyone had an awesome time and we are so grateful that we got to celebrate our sweet friend Will.  We sure do love that handsome little man!

I had no idea this game required so much strategy.

Firm grasp on the sippy.  All athletes have to stay hydrated.

Em was totally into getting into these rides.  Until they started.  Then she wanted the heck out.

The only man who will put his arm around my kid until she's at least 35.

Sweet Avery.  Clearly she didn't appreciate my taking a picture of her while she's eating.  I can understand that.

Avery and the birthday boy's sibs, Eva & Wes.

You're welcome Mel.  I really wanted to post the other one.

If you can't eat the pizza, the moby wrap is your next best option.

I totally failed because I think this is the only picture I got of the birthday boy.  DOH!

Chuck E, Chuck E- sign my hand!

Emery made Ryan chase Chuck E down only to brutually rebuff a high five request.  That's my girl!

When dating under the age of 4, a chaperone is always involved.

Hey baby, let me show you how fast this bad boy will go.

Sweetest little sibs.  Kisses to my Avery and Jakey!

Stop!  Hammer time.  (Sorry- I had to!)

To round out the day, my dear hubby helped me get the kiddos to bed and then sneakily surprised me with a sushi dinner.  Starbucks and sushi in one day?!  Heaven on earth, peeps!  He also bought me some flowers.  For those of you who know Ryan's financial thoughts on the purchase of flowers (and cards- don't get him started) you recognize that this was quite the heart felt gesture.

Did you think that Valentine's Day might end there?  You don't realize how spoiled we are then.  The next evening, my incredible parents insisted that we take some time out for a date night.  They drove in from Conroe to watch the girls on Sunday so that we could go out to dinner.  This was our first date night since having them both.  Also maybe our first date night since 2012?  It's tough to say.  Either way- we really enjoyed it and are beyond grateful for their generosity.

So, for two people who really don't believe too much in Valentine's Day, we sure got to celebrate it in style.  Thank you to everyone who participated in making it one of the most memorable ones yet!  Special thank you to my parents for watching the girls.  I can't iterate enough times how blessed we are to have you!  And, of course, to my darling husband- Ryan, you will never understand just how much these girls and I love you.  There's no one more worthy of being celebrated on the day of love than you.  For all you do, you will forever be our Prince Daddy!  I hope that everyone else's day was equally full of sweet gestures and caffeine as mine.

Why?

My Dearest Daughters,

As you likely know, I typically reserve this blog for life events and not for the messy and emotional contents of my brain.  I'm breaking that rule because I've spent enough time in the past few weeks walking around our neighborhood with Brynn in the moby, Emery on my mind and tears streaming out from behind my sunglasses to know there's something I need to get off my chest.  (It's actually marginally surprising that no local service providers have called the authorities about that random lady walking around crying, but I digress.)

Today marks the day that I go back to work after 13 blissful weeks at home.  I have lived long enough at this point to know there will be things about the way your Daddy and I raise you that you will want to do differently should you ever be blessed with, and led to, have a family of your own in the future.  There will be some small things.  Like perhaps you'll select a partner who remembers to close cabinets and drawers after their use.   Maybe you will let your child take her milk in the bathtub to avoid a 10 minute stand off. There may also be big things like maybe you'll choose to live in the city.  Or choose a job that doesn't require sitting behind a desk.  I also pray that we do a few things that you want to emulate, but I won't hold my breath.

Undoubtedly if you become mothers yourselves one day, one of the biggest decisions you will make is whether or not you continue to work.  Regardless of which camp this choice falls into for you, I need you to understand why I am making the decision to be a working Mama.  I'm writing it down in case one day the pain and emotions behind it aren't as fresh and thus dull my explanation should you ever ask me.  I'm writing it down in case, God forbid, I'm not here to tell you one day.  I'm writing it down in case some day in the future I am not a working Mama and you want to be.

I myself was raised by the world's best primarily Stay at Home Mom (you know her better as Nonnie), so allow me to preface this entire explanation with the fact that I KNOW, first hand, that staying at home is without a doubt the most difficult job on the planet.  Period.  Shout out to my Mama and to all the other Mamas who stay at home and answer to tiny bosses each day.  You truly make the world go round!

So, am I running away from it because it's hard?  Oh no, my precious ones.  I'm sure after living through your teenage years with me you can attest to the fact that I have always loved a good challenge.  Where do you think you got your stubborn-ness from?  On the contrary, deciding to go back to work is harder for me emotionally than should I have opted to stay home.  It's physically painful for me to know that someone else will get to see a lot of your milestones first.  Someone else gets to laugh at you for 75% of your waking hours.  Someone else can reach out and give you a hug or a kiss whenever they want.  I chose this option because I think it's better for YOU.  The moment someone lays a newborn on your chest you realize that what's hard or easy for you doesn't matter any more.  You have one singular goal in life and it's to do what's best for your children.

I never thought I would be someone who liked their children going to daycare.  Then one day around 15 months or so as you sat in the bath tub Em, you pointed at a monkey and said "oh oh, ah ah" and scratched under your armpits.  Your Daddy & I had worked on teaching you multiple animal noises and succeeded but we had not taught you the monkey.  It sounds so silly but in that moment I realized just how much you learn from the people you spend your day with and how much they benefit YOU.  They do a far better job of teaching you things than I would.  I would sit at home and kiss you and hug you and laugh at the silly things you do.

Another especially poignant moment in my relationship with being a daycare Mama was at Halloween this year when we went to watch the costume parade.  Emery you were about 19 months old and super independent.  Listening and obedience weren't strong suits for you at home.  Nonnie, Paw paw and I were sitting there waiting and preemptively laughing about what a hot mess the parade would be.  We were all shocked when you walked out, held your teacher's and classmates' hands and did EXACTLY what you were supposed to do.  You never would have done that for your Daddy & I.  I realized just how much the school and it's norms were teaching you about how to behave.  You were watching others and learning to do what they do.  Could I  provide that for you at home?  Not exactly.

In addition to benefiting your mind and ability to behave (at least for others), you will learn the importance of friends and what they mean to your life.  Your Daddy does drop offs and he tells me that when you get to school your classmates run over chanting "Emmy, Emmy!"  I pick you up and at least 3 days of the week when I ask what you did that day, you tell me your BFF at school's name.  I assume that means you played with her and didn't beat her up.  I guess we will find out soon enough?  For everyone, but I think particularly females, it's so very important to have friends and to nurture the relationships with those around you.  Would I be able to provide enough play dates for you to form these types of bonds and early friendships?  I don't know.

On top of how wonderful I know going to school has been for you, going to work is equally wonderful for me.  I go to work and interact with people who support and challenge me.  I do a job that I find stimulating and interesting.  I feel fulfilled in it.  I'm blessed beyond belief with a boss and a work environment that support and foster a healthy work-life balance. It allows me to come home and be a better Mama to you.  It makes me appreciate every single second we are together because I know they're fewer than I would like them to be in a perfect world.  The confidence I have from work makes me more patient and more present than I fear I might be otherwise.  These facts are most assuredly good for YOU also.

Last but not least, your Daddy and I want to give you the world.  We want to make all of your dreams come true.  While I hope to teach you that happiness and confidence are the most important elements of success it can't be ignored that sometimes money is required to teach such lessons and achieve such goals.  At this stage in life your pragmatic and conservative parents don't feel confident that we have enough money saved for any potential eventuality or dream for you.  This isn't the most important element of the decision to continue working as I know love and support are the most important ingredients to your childhood, but given the others outlined above, it tips the scales.

So there you have it.  A very verbose explanation as to why your Mama works.  In one word it could be summarized as: YOU.  You are why I work.  Each person, each family, each situation is different which is why the decision is different for everyone.  What's right for us may not be right for someone else.  Truth be told, I'm not even positive that it IS what's right.  That's what we call Mama guilt though and a post for another day.  For now, it feels like the right thing to do.

I know that I'll re-make and re-visit this decision nearly each day I live.  Probably hourly depending on what kind of day it is for us.  If one day it becomes evident that it's no longer what's best for you then we will simply make a change.  At the end of the day though, whether you believe it was the right thing to do or whether you want something different for your family, I hope that you know that I am doing the very best I can.  Regardless of what my business card says, Mama will always be my favorite title.

All My Love,
YOUR Mama

S is for Sister - Installment 1

Hey, heeeeey!  So you may or may not have noticed that I make a fairly concerted effort to use solo pictures of the girls in their monthly/quarterly updates.  You may be thinking that this means we keep them in separate rooms.  Au contraire mon frere- it's actually pretty difficult to keep these two apart and/or to get pictures of them individually.  I do this partially because when both are in them I am not sure who's updates they should go in, and also partially because I know they are two separate people who will want to know they each had their own time in the spotlight one day.

This methodology works fine except WHERE DO I PUT THE CUTE SIBLING PICS?!  So that's what I'm attempting to start here. An outlet for all the hilarious... er... awwww-inducing moments the two of them share.  I know you don't get enough pictures of my kids here so I'm sure you're hip hip hooraying at your desk.  (That was sarcasm font.)

Sweet baby girls, I hope that these pictures bring you all the warm fuzzies they bring me with less running from the kitchen to save Brynn's life.  You two are my heart and soul.

Nonnie brushing off those two-arm-holding skills when I was still in the hospital with B.  RIP "bert" (bird) book.  This one has now been "bwoke" by Emery the Destroyer.

I'm sorry- I thought you said that baby lives here now?!  No one ran that by me.  (Looks like no one ran it by Brynn either.)

Psssst- I totally used that first.  Buuuuurn.

Helping Daddy out by teaching him about Brynn's anatomy.  Note I didn't take a picture of when we get to "eye," because all hands need to be on deck at that part in the lesson.

"Baby" was crying, so Emery came over to hold her hand.  Pretty freaking precious.

Reading a book with Daddy bear.

Shhhh, shhhh baby.  This is the good part of Property Hunters.

If aggressive kissing were an Olympic sport, Emery would be a medalist without a doubt.

I think this was "eye."  Are we always this well dressed in our house?  Yes.  Yes we are.  Fashion week, eat your heart out.

Hey, hey guys.  Can you help me out and turn my head towards the tv?  What are you watching?!

More hand-holding.  Sure it usually ends in yanking but I like to believe the original intent is positive.

Love means not using a cup to feed baby "coffee," but pouring is straight from the pitcher.

Donuts for sister.

Practicing that aggressive kissing form.  Can never be toooo perfect.

"Cup kate" for baby.  Note how intently Brynn watches Emery.  She senses danger.  (Also, please forgive the fact that Emery is wearing the same few outfits over and over.  Mama doesn't wake up all the time before school.  Daddy knows about 3 outfits that have been approved to match.  He uses them to their fullest extent.  Love you, Daddy!)

Trying to show baby her "car."  Turns out Brynn doesn't like paper cars any more than real ones.

Psssst.  Brynnie.  How's my breath?

Watching some "animoes" waiting for Daddy to get home from work.  

Oh you know.  Just going to the grocery store in our jammies.  The Martins ooze class.

When we purchased this chair I liked the rocking feature.  My feelings have changed slightly based on the above.

I was making Emery practice saying "I lof tu, sis-er."   I think she got it.  The snack catcher to the head really sealed the deal.

Emery threw a fit because she wanted to "hole" baby.  The crying caused Brynn to launch into a tirade.  I let Emery hold her.  Clearly Brynn didn't appreciate it.  Have I nailed this parenting thing or what?