Without further ado, let's go through the list I've compiled and talk about what went wrong, shall we?
This took place around.... I believe 16 weeks? I recognize that this is my second pregnancy but I also think I generally have a fairly realistic perception of my own appearance. My belly was not THAT big that you noticed in the baggy clothing I've been wearing, lady. Even if it was- WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT? Pointing out an expanding belly due to baby is no more appropriate than pointing out one due to cheeseburger consumption.
2. Person: "Hey Amy... Can I? No, nevermind."
Me: "Go ahead. What is it?"
Person: "Well I saw you walking the other day and I thought- you only walk like that when you're... "
Me: "Pregnant? Yes, I am pregnant."
This also took place pretty early on- maybe 19 weeks. Was I really waddling already?! Doubtful. However, even if I am walking around like I'm trying to do a race with a bowling ball between my legs, no one wants to be told this. Not sexy. With each passing day you lose just a liiiiiiittle bit more grace and dignity. Let's not point that out, hmmm? You just pretend that pregnant lady is strutting it like Ms. Jay on America's Next Top Model no matter what.
3. Person (upon my entrance to a meeting room full of people): "Are you kidding me, young lady? Congratulations AGAIN."
One, I hate being the center of attention ever for any reason. Also, Dad- when did you show up to my meeting?! Except my own father did not scold me mainly because I am a grown adult capable of making my own child-birthing decisions. The conversation went on with this person asking me when I was due, etc. He said "you don't sound very excited!" Oh, maybe because you are putting me on blast in front a room full of people. Good. Ness.
4. Person (in the same meeting as #3. He was absent for the beginning part, clearly. This was his reaction as I stood up): "OHMIGOD. Whoa. I shouldn't have reacted that way. Congratulations!"
Nope. You should not have reacted that way. Although after #3 I applaud your ability to recognize your mishandling of the situation. When in the third trimester "whoa," is never a reaction you're looking forward to receiving. It takes on a completely different tone than it did pre-pregnancy when maybe you did you hair, put on some lipstick and donned a fitted dress for the first time in a while.
5. Grocery Store Associate: "Get your wine and cheese samples! Ohhh, I don't think you can have wine."
Please see my disdain for all things attention-grabbing from above. Luckily the wine was out of reach so there was no need for a clean up on aisle 11. Also, do you see this child yelling "mine" in my cart? Can you tell from there how swollen my ankles are? Maybe I do want a wine sample, hold the judgement. Thanks.
6. Doctor at the Clinic at Work: "You just don't look like you feel good."
*sigh* Is there a prescription for that? This comment takes on a new meaning when it comes across in the form of a medical diagnosis. I was at the clinic because I was sick for about 2 weeks somewhere in the 30 week range. You know things are rough in the appearance realm when someone who has never seen you before can identify that you do not appear to feel good. +10 for my ego.
7. 80%** of the People on My Floor at work: "You're getting big!"
Again, it is never appropriate to point out to a woman that she is big. Ever. It really doesn't matter why. I don't feel any more excited about weight gain just because I'm growing a human life. Little did you know that courtesy of gestational diabetes I couldn't eat anything that I really wanted to, so in my mind I should have been looking like I'd been doing P90x. If you are going to insist on point this out to a pregnant person, I would recommend wearing a helmet. Particularly if you do so when she hasn't even had breakfast yet.
** this could be a slightly misguided figure but I'm the pregnant lady, so I'm allowed some artistic license.
8. Person: Looks at me from quite a ways down the hall, laughs and starts gesturing like he is Santa Claus rubbing his belly.
Give. Me. A. Break. This is just SO RUDE. Speaking of Santa- I have him on speed dial and I'm requesting a fat sack of coal for you. Sometimes when men do things like this it makes me wish I could call their wives. I don't think they'd be quite so brazen. I know I would have racked Ryan faster than he could have spouted off A&M's football record for the last 5 years and we all know that's pretty quickly.
9. Multiple people: "You look tired."
Everyone needs to remove this phrase from their vocabulary. Period. I think people are under the disillusion that this is a more polite, subtle way of saying, "you look like ****." Guess what? Everyone is on to you. It's neither polite nor subtle. For about 2/3rd of pregnancy you ARE tired and you DO feel less than fabulous- no one needs to remind you.
10. Person on the Elevator: "Have you dropped?"
A random older gentleman that I have never seen before, first thing on a Tuesday morning, asked me this. Like have I dropped it like it's hot? Not lately. Ohhhh, has this huge hunk of child dropped into my nether-regions, you mean? Don't ever ask a woman that. Do you want to know my dialation and effacement statistics as well? My thoughts on b-fing? I would have been content to discuss the weather.
I still have (allegedly) 1.5-2.5 weeks of pregnancy left on the docket. I can only imagine what more exciting nuggets will be added. In the meantime, I hope that this list has given you all a chuckle or made you think twice about the things that come out of your mouth to those you encounter with child. Feel free to add your own personal gems in the comments. Come onnnnnn, sweet bucket!
4. Person (in the same meeting as #3. He was absent for the beginning part, clearly. This was his reaction as I stood up): "OHMIGOD. Whoa. I shouldn't have reacted that way. Congratulations!"
Nope. You should not have reacted that way. Although after #3 I applaud your ability to recognize your mishandling of the situation. When in the third trimester "whoa," is never a reaction you're looking forward to receiving. It takes on a completely different tone than it did pre-pregnancy when maybe you did you hair, put on some lipstick and donned a fitted dress for the first time in a while.
5. Grocery Store Associate: "Get your wine and cheese samples! Ohhh, I don't think you can have wine."
Please see my disdain for all things attention-grabbing from above. Luckily the wine was out of reach so there was no need for a clean up on aisle 11. Also, do you see this child yelling "mine" in my cart? Can you tell from there how swollen my ankles are? Maybe I do want a wine sample, hold the judgement. Thanks.
6. Doctor at the Clinic at Work: "You just don't look like you feel good."
*sigh* Is there a prescription for that? This comment takes on a new meaning when it comes across in the form of a medical diagnosis. I was at the clinic because I was sick for about 2 weeks somewhere in the 30 week range. You know things are rough in the appearance realm when someone who has never seen you before can identify that you do not appear to feel good. +10 for my ego.
7. 80%** of the People on My Floor at work: "You're getting big!"
Again, it is never appropriate to point out to a woman that she is big. Ever. It really doesn't matter why. I don't feel any more excited about weight gain just because I'm growing a human life. Little did you know that courtesy of gestational diabetes I couldn't eat anything that I really wanted to, so in my mind I should have been looking like I'd been doing P90x. If you are going to insist on point this out to a pregnant person, I would recommend wearing a helmet. Particularly if you do so when she hasn't even had breakfast yet.
** this could be a slightly misguided figure but I'm the pregnant lady, so I'm allowed some artistic license.
8. Person: Looks at me from quite a ways down the hall, laughs and starts gesturing like he is Santa Claus rubbing his belly.
Give. Me. A. Break. This is just SO RUDE. Speaking of Santa- I have him on speed dial and I'm requesting a fat sack of coal for you. Sometimes when men do things like this it makes me wish I could call their wives. I don't think they'd be quite so brazen. I know I would have racked Ryan faster than he could have spouted off A&M's football record for the last 5 years and we all know that's pretty quickly.
9. Multiple people: "You look tired."
Everyone needs to remove this phrase from their vocabulary. Period. I think people are under the disillusion that this is a more polite, subtle way of saying, "you look like ****." Guess what? Everyone is on to you. It's neither polite nor subtle. For about 2/3rd of pregnancy you ARE tired and you DO feel less than fabulous- no one needs to remind you.
10. Person on the Elevator: "Have you dropped?"
A random older gentleman that I have never seen before, first thing on a Tuesday morning, asked me this. Like have I dropped it like it's hot? Not lately. Ohhhh, has this huge hunk of child dropped into my nether-regions, you mean? Don't ever ask a woman that. Do you want to know my dialation and effacement statistics as well? My thoughts on b-fing? I would have been content to discuss the weather.
I still have (allegedly) 1.5-2.5 weeks of pregnancy left on the docket. I can only imagine what more exciting nuggets will be added. In the meantime, I hope that this list has given you all a chuckle or made you think twice about the things that come out of your mouth to those you encounter with child. Feel free to add your own personal gems in the comments. Come onnnnnn, sweet bucket!
This is all so true, the only acceptable thing to say to a pregnant woman is "you look fabulous!".
ReplyDeleteI actually had a guy in the elevator ask me if I had dilated yet. I think I blogged about it, too. I mean what??
Since I have posted this someone said, "you look great for having a girl!" Uh- what? Back-handed compliments are my fav!
DeleteOh girl. I feel you and I've never even been pregnant. I can't tell you how many times people have tried to congratulate me about a pregnancy and I'm like, ohhh, no honey, I'm just fat. You would think the world would know by now not to say anything but it happens all the time. And the best part? It's almost always other women. Come on, ladies!
ReplyDeleteI had a lady at work tell me..."You are really starting to show in your face". I turned so red...not sure if it was from embarrassment or anger. Urgh....some people.
ReplyDeleteYou were Ms Jay every day.
ReplyDelete