The weekend of May 9th-11th a crew of the coolest ladies you'll ever meet and I met up in San Antonio to throw my hottie sister the bachelorette bash of a lifetime. As with most bachelorette parties I have been a part of, my memories of said events are not crystal clear, but this time it's due to pregnancy brain as opposed to the usual suspect (read: bartenders over serving me). Hopefully between what little I do remember and the pictures below I paint just enough of a picture to make those in attendance laugh while still being able to someday run for office.
Friday night we all rolled into the Hotel Contessa town after work and sat around gabbing and partaking in the mini bar we created in the room. Judging by the decibel levels we managed to hit and the amount of laughter, not only do I feel certain our neighbors had already left for the evening but I also think pretty highly of the soundproofing in the joint. After everyone got gussied up for the evening, and the trip Mama (me) forced everyone to take a shot, we headed over to River City Comedy Club. It's hard for me to say what was funnier- a) our grand entrance courtesy of Morgan, b) the drunk obnoxious lady who got asked to leave or c) the comedians but regardless there was plenty of laughter.
Post comedy club we took our badonks to Kremlin to showcase some of our dancing prowess. Many awesome dance skills were displayed. Many pictures that should never come off of people's iPhones were taken. Many accessories were borrowed from fellow dancers. We will just suffice it to say that an excellent time was had by all. Post dance party we swung by the local Whataburger because what bachelorette party would be complete without a trip to a fast food joint? The night ended just as nature intended... with a lot of happy ladies asleep in a sea of cold, discarded french fries and a half eaten apple pie.
It feels weird to buy these things when you're pregnant. It feels even weirder to have the bellhop wheel them up to your room upon arrival.
Forcing them to take a shot. Note how pleased they are.
Morgan was taught that it's polite to pull out your chair for a lady.
Laura had her eye (see what I did there?) on these glasses all night. Special guest appearance by Morgan.
E'rybody. Caroline, Julie, Leah, Morgan, Rachel, Lauren,Grace, half of Lizzie, Me, Laura & Caroline.
Caroline, the beautimous bride & Laura.
Caroline, Jules, Grace & Lauren.
Saturday we all woke up bright eyed and bushy tailed and headed over to Guenther House for some brunching. By the time we arrived the wait was too long and our stomachs were too loud so we hopped over to Mad Hatter's Tea House instead. After re-fueling on some fab food, we headed back to the hotel to work on our tans. After all, practice makes perfect and sunbathing is a crucial skill for a destination wedding.
Once we had achieved maximum bronze-ness, we got fancy and headed over to Biga on the Banks for dinner. These people saw us coming from a mile away because they, VERY WISELY, put us in a private room. There were a few people staring at us oddly through some glass (cough Grace cough) but that's neither here nor there. I can't recommend this place enough. The drinks were fab (zing zang boom), the food was ah-mazing, the stories shared were incredible (sisters for LIFE) and our waiter was the bomb.com (see photographic evidence below). It was the perfect start to the evening.
After dinner we headed over to Pat O's to impress even more people with our moves. People were getting innovative. For instance it's the first time I've seen the simultaneous kick/push used in a partner dance. I believe at one point "the deer" made an appearance. Various interpretations of turn down for what came out. If all this isn't making you jealous, you clearly aren't visualizing clearly enough. Basically an awesome time was had by all as was evidenced by our post-jazzercise perspiration glow as we exited. We definitely left it all on the dance floor.
Once again the evening ended with too much laughing and more food consumption, only with less food throwing.
The crew again. Lizzie, Morgan, Julie, Rachel, Me, Leah... Caroline, Grace, Laura & Lauren. Julie only allows herself hot friends.
Zing, zang, boom.
This side of the table taught us the importance of always sleeping with your boots on.
Bachelorette scavenger hunt: take a picture with a random in prom pose. I think we intended for Julie to play the girl, but this also works.
Seriously, our waiter rocked.
Scavenger hunt: take a picture with a guy flexing? With a tattoo? Just take a picture with a guy? Who knows.
The ladies at the best restaurant in San Antonio.
Being on stage is shocking.
Front rooooow.
Sunday morning we all woke up and headed over to Feast for breakfast for one last hurrah and just to recap the whole trip. After all, what fun is doing ridiculous things if your friends can't all harass you about it the next day? None at all. After a delicious, albeit very slow, brunch we all headed out separate ways. I can't thank you ladies enough for your participation and all the laughing I did. Jules, I hope you had a stellar time and that it was the best bash you could have imagined. We all love you dearly!
Somehow I only have a picture of one side of the table. I promise the rest of us were there also.
