Memoirs of a Martin: Honeymooners

Promptly at 6 am on July 10, 2011, Ryan and I's honeymoon flight departed for Antigua. For those of you doing mental math, you are correct- our flight took off 6.5 hours after our reception ended. After experiencing the joy that is trying to convince me to move from the couch after I've fallen asleep more than a few times, Ryan recognized that an all-nighter was a neccessity to get yours truly to the airport. Luckily our friends and family are just the right dosage of party to help in such an endeavour. Post-reception we all retired to the hotel and made way too much noise in the lobby until slowly people started peeling off to their rooms.

Around 3:30 am as my eyes started feeling about 100 pounds a piece, and all but 1 of our compadres had abandoned us, we hailed a cab to the airport. (Sidenote: employees don't arrive at the airport until 4 am, McDonald's does not open until 5 am. Plan accordingly). Two sleep-filled flights later we arrived in Antigua: ta-da! To summarize for you:

- Our first married night's sleep: On a plane on the way to Miami
- Our first married breakfast: McDonald's. In the airport.
- Our first married travel memories: Trying not to drool on one another mingled with sleep-filled delirium. (Ryan also looked dangerously close to using the barf bag at one point. )

These are undoubtedly the makings of a stellar romance film. Spielberg, call me. Back to the story...

We triumphantly arrived at our resort. We stayed at the Verandah resort. It was a perfect honeymoon destination - very private and outrageously lush. The vegetation to person ratio there was like 17,000:1. I can't even imagine how many people it takes to keep things growing. There are 2 of us groundskeepers at Casa Martin and we have killed nearly every plant in our yard, but I digress...

I would like to give you a daily rundown of what all we did because I'm sure you're absolutely dying to know, but to be quite honest with you all the days sort of ran together. We basically did a lot of hanging out at the pool, a lot of hanging out on the beach, a lot of eating and a lot of sipping frosty beverages. After 4.5 months of busy season and 15 months of wedding planning... all I wanted was to vacay my face off. Which is precisely what we did. I was not interested in anything that required planning, relying on others or being out of a lounge chair for longer than 30 minute increments.

The one time we ventured off the premises of the Verandah jungle was to take the Excellence Circumnavigate tour. In the brochure pushed upon us by our cab driver, there were several options for excursion activities... all with extremely sexy sounding descriptions such as riding through the jungle in a Jeep, swimming with sting rays, etc. What made us choose this one, you ask? Well this one was billed as a cruise around the island and as a bonus you could "see the houses of the rich and famous- like ERIC CLAPTON!" I have waited my whole life** to see Eric Clapton's house- how could I let this opportunity pass us by?! Between that and promising snorkeling and a lunch of local cuisine, I was sold.

This cruise did not disappoint. The first part of the morning was a fairly tame ride over to the snorkeling destination which was, I believe, called Green Island. Our fun tour guide pointed out historic landmarks, told us funny tales and even showed us Pat Riley and Oprah's houses. We then arrived at Green Island and got our snorkel on. I thought I would be a pro at this because I had done it before and Ryan had not. Plus I wanted to be a marine biologist for a sizeable chunk of my childhood life- obviously this should translate into stellar snorkeling skills. It turns out that due to a disinterest in fully securing the harness in my nether regions and a general misunderstanding of my snorkel mask- I thought I was going to drown for about the first 18 minutes. Eventually Ryan helped me get these issues straightened out and I enjoyed the remaining 7 minutes of snorkel time to the fullest extent. Let that be a lesson to you though children- love of marine life does not translate to snorkeling ability. Also, you should listen to your instructor carefully.

After our snorkel time we were fed some delicious cuisine I can no longer remember but loved at the time annnnnd the bar on the boat opened. Several of our fellow excursioners took full advantage of this fact which turned the second half of the boat ride into quite the event. There was a conga line. There were some local Antiguan ladies putting their moves on display. It was all you've ever dreamed of in a night out on Washington Avenue. Our tour guide also seemed to enjoy the bar as on the way back rather than pointing out landmarks he pointed out things like "Ohhhh, there's a crooked tree." It was an awesome time and I highly recommend this little trip if you make it to Antigua.

Without further ado, I'll let the pictures do the talking. Overall, it was an incredible, unforgettable week and I'd do it all again in a heartbeat. Thank you hubs for planning it. :c)

** sarcasm font

Where Ryan and I spent about 50% of our time- the pool.

Our little bungalow.

View from our balcony.

More balcony view. The Verandah is on a peninsula and our room faced the smaller bay.

My new friend, who sat on the balcony and watched the sunrise with me while the hubby slept.

Mongoose! These guys were hard to capture on film. Probably because they're so busy fighting cobras like Rikki-Tikki-Tavi. What a stud. (P.S. I don't think there are actually cobras in Antigua).

Beer inspires Ryan to take artsy pics.

Oh hey, look we did take some pictures of eachother rather than just animals and scenery.

Exploring the resort... and how to take self-timer pictures.

I picked a winner.

The big bay and beach. I miss it.

I had an odd fascination with this cactus.

Master paddle-boaters. Is this an olympic sport?

Different kind of paddle boat. P.S. I want a pelican for Christmas!

Ryan "The Ultimate Tourist" Martin in his natural habitat.

Din-din time. Lauren Conrad, I do not appreciate that your dress makes me look preggers here. We will discuss.

Absolutely stunning sunset from our balcony. Ask Ryan how much I loved that lone, strangely-shaped tree.

The resort calendar claimed there would be hermit crab races on Tuesday night. I made sure that we had front row seats. NO HERMIT CRAB RACES. I'm still kind of bitter. I think this guy was also because we found him wandering the grounds the next day.

Not hermit crabs. I forgot how funny it is to watch these guys scurry around.

Ryno & I hiking to Devils Bridge. I mourn the loss of that tan.

Standing on a washed out cliff, beer-in-hand is probably not something people recommend, but Ryan's quite the risk-taker. (P.S. This is Devil's Bridge).