Discussions with Daddy: Segment 4

Welp friends, it is that time again.  It has been another quarter (in non-financial-geek-speak: 3 months) and Emery's Daddy continues to be... well, himself.  Life in the past few months has been pretttttty busy between work, sweet new babies (shout out to Avery & Patrick) and social events, so I will be the first to admit that a few Ryan-isms may have slipped through the cracks.  Don't you worry though- I've still managed to collect a few gems for your viewing pleasure.

Without further ado:

• (Emery displaying a few waterworks while Papa Bear was changing her diaper)  Oh you don't like this?  Well learn to poo in the toilet.

• (On the morning that the waking up video here was filmed)  Man she looks like a drunken boxer.

• (Background to this story- Ryan ALWAYS says that I "have the fire," which is really code for I let him know immediately when I'm dis-pleased with something.  Also, we like to play a silly game arguing about who Emery loves more.  We both know she loves us equally.)  Ryan:  She loves you more.  She won't even let me give her kisses.  Me: That's ridiculous.  You shouldn't try to give her kisses when she's eating.  Besides, even if she did, she will do a 180 when she hits teenager-dom.  Ryan:  *hearty belly laughter for like 45 seconds*  Yeah she will.  You both have the fire.  It's going to be volatile and I'm going to watch with some popcorn. 

• (Laughing in the car seat getting ready to leave for work/school in the morning)  Oh you think this is funny?  You're going to grow up and work some day too.  We'll be retired.  We'll see who's laughing then.

• (One evening during dinner Emery was putting macaroni in her hair)  Can we not bedazzle ourselves at the table, please?

• (One morning during a particularly appalling diaper change)  Ryan:  You are just radiating funk.  You know we prefer you save that for school.  *1.5 seconds pass*  Oh.  dear God.  Why?  This smells like blended noodles and burnt hair.  WHAT DID YOU EAT?  Me:  You have to stop.  Ryan:  Stop what?  Keeping my food down?!

• (One morning while I was doing dishes in the kitchen as Ryan sat on the couch "watching" Emery)  Me:  Are you aware your child is in the laundry room?  Ryan:  Yeah.  Leave her in there.  I'm hoping she's going to do some freaking laundry.

Any day that starts with a tickle fight with Daddy before school is a winner.