Memoirs of a Martin: NOLA: A Survival Story

So, this post is MUCH delayed. I blame this partially on the fact that I've been uber busy in the past month with last minute wedding details, a quarter, a client filing a S-1, a bridal shower for the BFF, and a host of other exciting things but a larger contributor to the delay in my writing this is that it's taken this long to recover from the excitement that was the Gang takes NOLA.

The weekend of May 12th - May 15th, I had my Bachelorette Party in New Orleans. My pretty MOHs planned the most incredibly fun weekend ever. The amount of time, effort and love that went into planning it was incredibly evident and I felt so spoiled. A total of 10 amazing women sacrificed part of their weekend (and perhaps part of their dignity as well) to make sure I enjoyed my last hurrah appropriately. I really am so incredibly appreciative, so thank you to EVERYONE who came out and to those of you who couldn't make it- you were there in spirit... although after looking at pictures you may wish that you weren't. :c)

The 15,000 version of the weekend is that we went to New Orleans, we stayed in Hotel Monteleone, we tanned, we ate a fabulous dinner at Galvez, we lounged by the pool, we were great appreciators of the sights, sounds and smells of Bourbon Street, we enjoyed eachother's company and went home. To avoid quelching anyone's hidden dreams of one day running for office, I will not give a play by play but rather will summarize the finer points of the weekend through the lessons learned & some of my fav quotes.

Lessons for the Gang, courtesy of NOLA:

Not all tall men in salmon-colored frat shorts are cut out to be your brother in law. Sad, but true.
Men are surprisingly willing to rip off their undergarments in public locations
If you tell someone you think they're pretty enough times, they will let you take a picture with them- regardless of what their pimp says.
This rule does NOT apply with the cops on horses. They are camera shy.
Nothing lets people around you know it's a party like a life-sized Bieber poster on your hotel room door. Nothing.
Don't get kicked by horses.
Just plugging your charger into the phone before you go to bed is not enough. You need to plug that bad boy into the wall.
Don't take a nap against a bar. You could wake up surrounded by horse cops.
If a lady tries to feed you shots like she is a mama bird.... It will cost you $72.
If your waiter loses some skin in delivering your order, you will be rewarded with the largest piece of salmon in the joint.
Brad Pitt is not at the end of every professional camera. Sometimes it's just an Express model.
If you're standing on a fountain yelling "I'm getting married b***hes," they will probably still ask you to step down.
What happens in NOLA- stays in NOLA. Except upper respiratory infections. Those will definitely follow you home.
You must have at least one gentleman per lady to enter a gentleman's club. The size of your inflatable friend is not a factor.

Favorite Quotes:

"Who would want to live in Detroit? That place is the murder capital of the US."
Male: "I know him from college." Female: "Oh, cool. Where did you go to school?" Male: "Dartmouth. What about you?" Female: "University of Phoenix." *awkward pause* "It's in the desert."
"I've got to BLAST some green beans before we get out of here."
"Tell me you're not impressed."
"Guatemala. That's in Asia."
"I'll take the chicken. Without the attitude."
"Sir, do you take credit cards?"
"I am not going into your rat-infested rape den."

Warning: You're about to see a LOT of pictures- the amazing thing is that this is only a fraction of the pictures taken from the weekend. Love you, ladies.