NOLA: A Survival Story

So, this post is MUCH delayed.  I blame this partially on the fact that I've been uber busy in the past month with last minute wedding details, a quarter, a client filing a S-1, a bridal shower for the BFF, and a host of other exciting things but a larger contributor to the delay in my writing this is that it's taken this long to recover from the excitement that was the Gang takes NOLA. 

The weekend of May 12th - May 15th, I had my Bachelorette Party in New Orleans.  My pretty MOHs planned the most incredibly fun weekend ever.  The amount of time, effort and love that went into planning it was incredibly evident and I felt so spoiled.  A total of 10 amazing women sacrificed part of their weekend (and perhaps part of their dignity as well) to make sure I enjoyed my last hurrah appropriately.  I really am so incredibly appreciative, so thank you to EVERYONE who came out and to those of you who couldn't make it- you were there in spirit... although after looking at pictures you may wish that you weren't.  :c)

The 15,000 version of the weekend is that we went to New Orleans, we stayed in Hotel Monteleone, we tanned, we ate a fabulous dinner at Galvez, we lounged by the pool, we were great appreciators of the sights, sounds and smells of Bourbon Street, we enjoyed eachother's company and went home. To avoid quelching anyone's hidden dreams of one day running for office, I will not give a play by play but rather will summarize the finer points of the weekend through the lessons learned & some of my fav quotes. 

Lessons for the Gang, courtesy of NOLA:

• Not all tall men in salmon-colored frat shorts are cut out to be your brother in law.  Sad, but true.
• Men are surprisingly willing to rip off their undergarments in public locations
• If you tell someone you think they're pretty enough times, they will let you take a picture with them- regardless of what their pimp says.
• This rule does NOT apply with the cops on horses.  They are camera shy.
• Nothing lets people around you know it's a party like a life-sized Bieber poster on your hotel room door.  Nothing.
• Don't get kicked by horses.
• Just plugging your charger into the phone before you go to bed is not enough.  You need to plug that bad boy into the wall.
• Don't take a nap against a bar.  You could wake up surrounded by horse cops.
• If a lady tries to feed you shots like she is a mama bird.... It will cost you $72. 
• If your waiter loses some skin in delivering your order, you will be rewarded with the largest piece of salmon in the joint. 
• Brad Pitt is not at the end of every professional camera.  Sometimes it's just an Express model.
• If you're standing on a fountain yelling "I'm getting married b***hes," they will probably still ask you to step down.
• What happens in NOLA- stays in NOLA.  Except upper respiratory infections.  Those will definitely follow you home.
• You must have at least one gentleman per lady to enter a gentleman's club.  The size of your inflatable friend is not a factor.

Favorite Quotes:

• "Who would want to live in Detroit?  That place is the murder capital of the US." 
• Male: "I know him from college."  Female: "Oh, cool.  Where did you go to school?"  Male: "Dartmouth.  What about you?"  Female:  "University of Phoenix."  *awkward pause* "It's in the desert."
• "I've got to BLAST some green beans before we get out of here."
• "Tell me you're not impressed."
• "Guatemala.  That's in Asia."
• "I'll take the chicken. Without the attitude."
• "Sir, do you take credit cards?"
• "I am not going into your rat-infested rape den."

Warning:  You're about to see a LOT of pictures- the amazing thing is that this is only a fraction of the pictures taken from the weekend.  Love you, ladies.

Jen, Me, Julie & Tiff

Jenn, Dena, Tiffany & Caitlin

Meeeeee-ow.

Jamie, Shawna, Caitlin, Melissa, Dena, Tiff, Me & Jules

Hotties from the delinquent room.

Dinner at Galvez.  Don't order the chicken.

Vanna White has nothing on Julie.

Dessert anyone?

Annnnnnnd... we're off.

Little Sis love

Getting proposed to on Bourbon Street by a 19 year old- check that off the bucket list.

Hottest mommas you'll ever meet.

Night One Feats: 1.  We made it on to a balcony...

...2.  We convinced 2 men to remove their undergarments.  On Bourbon....

...3.  We convinced a dude to do the worm...

...and I think we will stop the # game right here.

The Mels

So. Much. Love.

Beautiful MOHs

Night One: Curtain.

Pat O's

Mopes, Shawna, Julie & Caitlin

Oz fanatics.

Melissa, Jen, Me, Caitlin & Julie

Dena, Shawna & Caitlin

Sis 1, Sis 2 & Sis 3

Brunch Season: The Triumphant Return

As you all may have gathered from my lack of posting as of late- I've been a little tied up.  Brunch season got pushed to the wayside because of all kinds of things like... going to Canada, celebrating the joining of lives and a week long bout of whooping cough (which the Dr referred to as an "upper respirtatory infection"... I stand by my baseless self diagnosis though).  Consequently, the weekend before this past one was the first in a while that some of our schedules lined up.  We decided to celebrate with a revival of brunch season.

This time we took our thirst for mimosas and adorable baby buddy to Farrago.  I've been to this establishment on several occassions and highly recommend it.  Aside from delicious crab cakes and excellent fruity to go candies (sometimes mints just dont sound good)- they offer bottomless mimosas in red wine glasses.  They take the "bottomless" portion of that statement very seriously too.  If you don't have a solid 3 hours to devote to a nap afterwards, this is not the place for your brunch bidness. 

As always, we had a fantastic time.  Thank you, anonymous waiter, for sharing way too much of your thoughts with the audience.  Thank you, Dena, for decking us all out in pink teenager bracelets.  Thank you all for your partcipation.  Smooches!

Noah and his beautiful mama

Dena & Jamie

New brunch friends.  Who hang out with Ryan Reynolds lookalikes.  No biggie.

Noah, Jenn, Shawna & I

Dena & Noah.  He's also shocked by the size of the mimosas.

Ladies Who Brunch

For the second round of Brunch Season, we took our inappropriate conversations and above 6 inches voices to Table Seven on Durham.  This week's participants were: Sara, Dena, Shawna, Jen, Rashell, Lori, Chelsea, Jamie, April and your's truly.  This week's location earned a few brownie points on last week's location for having bottomless mimosas.  The cranberry ones were particularly delicious.  I think we also decided that since creanberry juice is so good for you, it was basically like a health drink.  Foolproof logic.

Despite a few spills, one chicken fried chicken sacrified to the floor and some discussion at various volumes of feminine issues that made our waiter incredibly uncomfortable, I would classify this week as a great success.  Nothing gets a day started off right like discussing baby stealing, pregnancy, Six Sigma belts, and safety training.  I am sure Rashell would have me point out here that even though it says "crab cakeS," there is indeed only one singular crab cake. 

Overall, I had a wonderful time- I recommend Table Seven and I recommend engaging in conversation with any of the aforementioned ladies if you want a good laugh.  If you want to get in on this action, shoot me an email.

April & Jamie

Shawna, Dena, Sara & Savanna**

Chelsea, Lori, Rashell, Jen y Yo

** names subject to change... but hopefully not.  :c)

Mimosas and Motocross and Mayer - Oh my!

If you were just thinking to yourself, man I really miss in May and June when Amy was writing those blog posts that were 3 pages long in Word with like 36 pictures each - then today is your lucky day!  If you weren't thinking that, you might want to skip this post.  :c)  I should probably split up my Labor Day Weekend into multiple posts but I'm just going to jam it all into a super-post- you could use a break on your first day back to work after a holiday weekend anyway, right?  Prop up your feet and enjoy a tale of fast food establishments, changing in public garages and tire malfuctions.  Here we go...

Saturday
Saturday morning was the much-anticipated Brunch Season kick off.  We started the season off at Shade in the Heights.  In order to better relate to the football-obsessed men in our lives, we decided to particpate in a fantasy celebrity league.  We were scheduled to have a paper draft at our season kick off brunch... however, we forgot an integral part of that equation: the paper with the eligible draftees.  Whoops!  Instead we opted to let the league auto draft for us and just indulge in mimosas instead.  Unfortuantely for me, auto drafting led to a team that includes Jon Hamm.  I do not believe this will be a winning season for yours truly.

If you didn't make it out, we missed you.  If you want to be included, let me know.  :c) 

Noah finds fantasy celebrity drafts exhausting

Dena & April

Noah, Jenn & Jamie

Shawna & Caitlin

Sara & I

Alex & Sarah

Jenn, Caitlin, Dena, April, Alex, Sarah, Sara, Me, Jen & Shawna

Kick-off Crew

Sunday

My Labor Day weekend Sunday brought a whole new meaning to the term "Sunday Funday."  I had a motocross event to attend, a bridal shower and the John Mayer concert.  I started the day out in Conroe at 9:30 am and didn't return until about 11:30 pm with 3 costume changes and about 150 miles in between.  I had waaay too much fun.

Motocross

Ryan's Dad has been riding dirtbikes for years and years.  This past Sunday he invited the Martins, Eastmans, my family and I to watch him race at Three Palms Extreme Sports up near Conroe.  At about 9:45 am we piled into cars and set out.  Thanks to a stop for gas and a stop at McDonalds (in order to immerse ourselves in the motocross culture), we arrived just in time to watch Mr. Martin compete in his first race at about 11:15.  He placed third.  What a stud, right?

I had to leave at about 12:45 to drive about an hour south and make it to a bridal shower that started at 2:00.  So, unfortunately I missed Mr. Martin's second race, but luckily my family stuck around and my Dad got some awesome pics.  I'm going to post a ton of pictures below, but I can't help it- I am amazed that my future Father in Law does this.  Also, my Dad took some amazing pics and I'm having a hard time picking favs. 

I had such a great time and am already looking forward to the next one. 

My new fav motocrosser

Excited supporters- Mamacita & Daddio

This is Matt's "I'm Excited!" face

Go #14

"Mike, do you think next year they will have a Harley division?"

Caddy & Julie

Mom & I - between race bonding

Scoping out the best place to get pics for the next race.  Which is apparently right in the middle of the course.

Ashley's Bridal Shower
So I left the motocross race at about 12:45 and headed south to go to my friend Ashley's bridal shower.  Ashley and I went to college together, joined the same sorority and were both in the b-school.  She's all-around fabulous and I'm so happy for her to have found the love of her life.  I can't wait for she and Travis' wedding in October.

As you might imagine, I was in no state, either fashion-wise or aroma-wise, to head straight to a bridal shower, or really any social setting, after the events pictured above.  I didn't think the porta potties at Three Palms were viable options for changing into a dress... so I set out with no real place for where I was going to change.  About 5 minutes into my journey, I pulled over in the Woodlands and stopped at the first place I came to that I knew would have a restroom.  The winner was - Popeyes.  Don't believe me?

Thank you, Popeyes

The creative maneveuring neccessary to change in a public restroom without letting any part of your body touch the unsanitary floors or walls (throw new shoe on the floor, balance like a flamingo, remove old shoe, gingerly step into new shoe without falling... ladies, you know what I mean) ate into my travel time a little more than I expected.  I set back out and was making pretty good time.  I turned onto South Post Oak with about 8 minutes to spare.  And then.....

...this happened.

Yes, that is a flat tire.  Since every member of my family was surrounded by motocross and there was no chance they would hear my phone calls- I searched through my glove compartment and found an Audi Roadside Assistance number.  A kind gentleman showed up 30 minutes later.  I suspect that it might have been his first tire change based on the fact that multiple times during the process he would touch a lug nut and sit back and assess the situation for 30 seconds, pick up a tool, set it down and then repeat the process.  About 25 minutes later, the new tire was on and I was off again.  I arrived to the shower about an hour late and about 10 times more disshevelled than when I originally set out on my journey.  Luckily Ashley's family was kind and pretended not to notice that I looked like swamp thing.  It was so good to see her and her future sister in law did such a great job with the shower.

Adorable desserts with candy Scrabble pieces.  They played Scrabble on one of their first dates.

How cute are those high heels cookies in the top left hand corner?

Ashley and I.  Can you tell who spent 45 minutes in a Whataburger parking lot in the Houston heat?

John Mayer Concert

After the shower, I hoped in the car and headed back up North to Cynthia Woods for the John Mayer concert.  Based on how far I was from home and the time the shower ended, I didn't have enough time to run by home in Conroe but I also was going to get to Cynthia Woods really early.  My phone was about to die thanks to the flat tire mishap and I was charger-less.  I stopped at Best Buy to get a car charger and a bag of pretzels because I hadn't eaten since breakfast at McD's and I had a feeling some drinking was in my future.

I talked Shawna and Caitlin into heading to the concert early to meet me at Baker's Street for a drink pre-concert.  The next costume change took place in my car in a parking garage on Water Way Square near Baker's Street.  After 3 fast food establishments across greater Houston in one day, I decided to mix it up some.

Caitlin & Kelcee at Baker's Street

After Baker's Street we headed over to John Mayer and met up with Jen.  I know that not everyone is a John Mayer fan, but I love that guy.  He's easily the most entertaining live performer I've ever seen.  Thank you so much for organizing and getting us tickets, Jen! 

Jen loves JM enough to drink beer

Probably tweeting JM.

Ballet?

"Do you want a single or a double?"

"Yeah, I'm single."

"Good to know... but did you want a single or double?"

Telling us he threw his back out.  Playing wiffle ball.

Caitlin <3s jumpers

Kelcee, Caitlin, Shawna & Jen

"Gravity" brings out some deep emotions

I just like this picture.

The end.

Monday

After Sunday's festivities, I relaxed in Conroe with the fam and Ryan.  Thanks to some inclimate weather:

we were forced to spend much of the day inside.  We hung out and played Euchre (now called "Euchkle" thanks to Ryan) and Skip Bo.  We also discussed tennis etiquette, taught Caddy what a "dome" is, the importance of the use of helmets and all learned a thing or two about Twitter.  It was a perfectly relaxing day and exactly what I needed.  Fantastic ending to a fantastic weekend.  :c)