NSFJ: Decking the walls (and maybe a table or two)

So, believe it or not, I have not COMPLETELY neglected our house the past 6 months.  Only about 85% neglected.  What can I say - sitting on the couch growing a child > manual labor.  With the other 15% of the time though, we shockingly have managed to knock out a few things.  Due to the fact that I'm so grossly behind in my documentation, I'm going to break what we've accomplished into a couple of different posts.  I haven't decided how many yet.  Hopefully you'll still be able to sleep despite that level of suspense.

Today's topic, which is very seasonally appropriate, is things that have eventually found their way onto our walls and/or other assorted items that I'm not sure how to classify.  In the latter half of the year Ryan and I decided that since it's been 2 years (whoa), we may as well start hanging things on the wall like we plan to stay for a while. 

Ryan & I hanging things on the wall somehow always winds up being a perfect storm of flying levels, pencils, 4 letter words and most of the time laughter.  We never, ever, ever get it right the first time.  I hole-heartedly (I'm so punny) apologize to anyone who might live in this house after us.  We're young and dumb.

Project 1:  Tweet Nothings
Pseudo-inspired by a painting I saw at Star Furniture that I did not want to pay for, I decided to try to make one myself.  If you've been following bump watch posts, you've likely seen these tweeters in the background.  Painters tape = a girl's next best friend.

Ingredients:  Painters tape, acryllic paint, acryllic paint sealer and 3 canvases

 Canvas empty nests.

Tweedley deedley deet...

Oh, hello there!  These inviting birds totally make me more comfortable trying to use the commode in the world's smallest half bath.

Note that in order to capture all 3 of them in one shot, I had to stand outside the door and take a picture into the mirror.  Please extrapolate this fact to 2 large humans squeezing in to try to level and hang these guys.

Project 2:  Mirror, mirror on the wall, how many times can I repaint you before my husband starts to bawl
I originally bought these sconces for the entry way to our house on sale from Crate & Barrel many, many moons ago.  I convinced Ryan they were perfect**, particularly with leftover wedding gift cards, and to casa Martin they went. 

So you can imagine his surprise when he found me spray painting them cream one day.  He hung them on the wall and as I stood back to admire his handiwork, I had that familiar pit in my stomach which alerts me to the fact that I've made a terrible decorating decision.  That pit is immediately followed by me doing mental math to determine when the next time Ryan works a weekend is so that I can fix said issue without him knowing.

I spent a couple of weeks mulling over how I wanted to re-transform my sconces.  After much googling, I decided that a solid coat of chocolate brown paint and some antiquing of the actual mirrors themselves were just what the doctor ordered.  During a weekend when Ryan was hard at work keeping southern California adequately powered, I was hard at work muriatic acid-ing and spray painting these bad boys.  I was basically Xena, Home Decorating Princess.

I could have totally gotten away with all my HGTV ninja-ing except that I could not figure out how to re-hang my little masterpieces.  Thankfully Ryan is a patient man.  Who loves to use his power tools.

Ingredients: Sconces, patient husband, spray paint, muriatic acid, gloves, paint scraper

The before.  Well, more like the middle because they were originally black.  :c)

Action shot of the sconces and mirrors sunbathing post transformation.

Tad-da!  Don't mind the couches we no longer own, the West Elm wildebeest head that hasn't found a home yet or that blanket.  Let's focus on the brown mirrors, hmm?

It's very hard to capture the antiquing effect in photos.  This is about as close as I could get.  The gold flecks you see are where the antiquing came through.

In its final hanging position.

** I negelcted to finish my thought entirely... "they were perfect, provided that they were no longer black."  I'm getting old and can't be blamed for my lack of complete thoughts, can I?  That's agism, isn't it?

Project 3:  Cat in the Hat - so hot this season. 
After much persuing of the finest that my local home furnishing stores had to offer to no avail, inspiration struck in terms of what needed to grace the little side tables in our entry way.  I really couldn't tell you where or how I came up with this idea.  I purchased 2 clear glass trifle bowls from Target and rekindled my torrid love affair with spray paint and painters tape.  Although I beg you not to closely audit the straightness of the lines, I'm still happy with the result.

Ingredients: Trifle bowls, spray paint, glass paint and painters tape

Humble beginnings.  Why did I put this in this chair for its close up?  Your guess is as good as mine.  I did one (okay maybe five) full coats of white spray paint between this picture and the next.

Tape 'er up, Scotty.

Donning a little green number.

Voila - cat in the hat vase.

Project 4: Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady Mirror.
The day before Ryan hosted his Heismanziel party, he sent yours truly out to get some beer and return an item at Target.  He will probably never do that again because I returned with a mirror and pillows.  I think I also got beer, but it's very hard to say as I was prettttty excited about my mirror.  I've been looking for a mirror for above our console table for a while but can never find one that quite strikes my fancy.  As Ryan sweetly held it up over the console table, I realized that I loved the mirror so much that I thought it should go above our couch instead.  And bring friends. 

A couple of Targets, one trip to Lowes and a wrapping paper fiasco later (don't use wrapping paper as a medium to test the position of mirrors on your wall unless you enjoy it continuously rolling back up and falling on the floor), our wall was adorned with these beauts. 

Ingredients:  3 mirrors, a solid amount of time lapsed since the last hanging project & a beer to reward patient husband

From the right, from the right. 

From the left, from the left. 

From my standard position - laid out on the couch.  Please note football on TV in the background.  Realism is my specialty.

As I've put this post together I've realized a few things.  First, I should have bought Ryan a way cooler Christmas gift for the heartache my quest to decorate our house must be causing him.  Second, I have a love affair with stripes.  Third, I may very well never ever finish this house at this rate!  Le sigh - stay tuned for the next installment.  I think it will be about what furniture elements we've added.